Saturday, May 22, 2004
May 22, whoaaaa!!! finalllly!!! the BIG stress is over! phew! tell you guys what happened for the past few days....it's been a torture...real torture man!
1. I've been sleeeeping really late...gota bed at 12+ and didn't get to sleep till hours later! have been getting bad dreams and consequently, a 'heavy' head...forced myself to wakey early to rush my assignment and that's not it!
2. Didn't have time for grocery shopping this week and didn't have time to really cook; ate crappy breakfast, lunch and dinner! i was almost feeding on bread with nutella all day! poor me!
3. Got up really early friday morning; didn't drink a single sip of water...no food...just simply typing in front of the computer for the whole morning, whole afternoon....finally completed the 4000words History assignment at 5pm on the dot!!! and whoh! by then, my hands were really shivering!~ no energy...tired...and feeling lousy.
4. When i gota caregroup last night at church, everyone was like~ hey!! you lost weight...and aw~ you look really tired! and yeah...i do!!and yes! i went down by a few kgs this week...! man! i'm gona give myself a good treat on monday, after i hand in this big assignment! never wana think about it again for at least a few months!!! have been typing words like 'Muslim' and 'Islam' for million of times, oh well, it's an exaggeration! but yarr...eeekss...i'm having phobia now...!!
5. after all that struggle, all i asked for is: have good dinner, good rest and a peace of mind! know what!?!!! just as i wanted to do so, our water supply got cut off 3 hours ago...the piping along the road, outside our house, burst!!! and the fresh water flowed down the streets and right now, the road is flooded! yikes! they turned off our water supply and i'd no water to cook dinner tonight!! and yes, again! crappy dinner (gota beg for bread from annie, cos' there's nothing in my fridge!) and i need water to brush my teeth and wash up before going to bed tonight!!!! arghhhh....what should i do???
oh well, this is what happens when you stay away from home! you get to really appreciate what you have back home! and oh yar! i'm so glad that we mowed our lawn last sunday!!!~ finallly man! tell you guys something...the grass was as tall as me for a few months!!!! and that made our house practically looking like it was in a middle of a deep forest...!!! that was how bad it was before!!! and yeah, now, it's all done...! haha, guess what? cos' we didn't mow it often, our grass has turned brown!! no longer green anymore!!!! how clever!~ =)
anyway, i'll be flying back this June hols!! yeh!~ so i'll see you guys soon! i really wana have a GOOD GOOD winter break! break from this place for the time being! i've been really tired and stressed out lately with assignments and i just wished that life wasn't that hard!!! but well, what to do?! this is the life of a student...and while i was struggling with typing these assignments, i constantly tell myself: i would never wana take up Hons or Masters after this! i don't wana get myself into more stressss....of writing 16000 words-essay!!! i'll just DIE!!!! 4000 words is more than what i can bear....16000??!??! No Way...!
~gracie left a note at 8:30 pm
Saturday, May 15, 2004
May 15, phewwww~ i finally gota say 'Goodbye' to my first struggle! did i tell you guys that for the first time in my whole entire life i have ever spent 12 hrs consistently everyday at the library just to finish that project? and yar, it's the first time too...that i left the library at 12am midnight everyday for 1 solid week!!! sucha great accomplishment! really, when willie and i printed out the 19 pages of our 5000-word report with 36 references, we're just so amazed at how we could produce sucha piece of work...good work, i'd say!
well, willie and i concluded that it doesn't matter what our grades are, because we really got much more out of it than any other subjects we had done before. i'm really thankful that we could work together and it's been sucha blessing knowing her as well! we are good partners indeed! i'm never good at thinking of ideas, especially when it's close to 12 midnight in the library....i'm only good in expressing those ideas in words. she could do just the opposite! hehe...*grin* and eventually, she did the thinking and i did the typing! cool eh?
guess this project has not only given me an opportunity to learn, but also to get to know a great friend! i treasure the time we spent together most at dinner time when we could just share with each other how God has been good to us in our lives. she got me thinking about God's love once again in a different way...and it's just encouraging to know that there's always someone who's praying for you, isn't it? as i remembered how i was so anxious of finding the right partner and asking God for providence, i know that God has been good to me! that's why i'd say, it doesn't matter what we get for our project, because i have gained much more from it....!
to learn in-depth into what i'm doing in my course, to know a girlfriend who loves God alot and be able to gain an experience of working with a good partner are all things which are much more valuable than the grades itself....hmmm~
intrinsic motivation!! arrhhhhh.....*there i go again!* by the way, that's the main theme of my project!! great learning experience!!!
one project done....4more to go!!! arghhhhh, when will this agony end???? *soon, girl...soooooon!!* i wanna GOOD break this june! a SERIOUSLY good one! i'm looking forward to 11th of June!
~gracie left a note at 7:29 pm
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
May 12, busy! busy! i haven't caught enough sleep lately...dark eye rings again! it's 9am now. i'm in the library sitting in front of a computer, trying to persuade myself to start typing my 3500 words essay which i've been researching on ever since the sem started. it's difficult to start typing....but i'm going to try! i'm still in the midst of rushing my other SCY project and it's just tough to do 2 things at one go. i don't wana even think about what's next, cos' there are simply too much to do after handing up these 2 assignments! i just feel that i haven't got enough time for everything! time is just ticking away and the work is still uncomplete! i'm relying on God's strength everyday...as i struggle through each step. got to go...no time! =)
~gracie left a note at 7:02 am
Sunday, May 09, 2004
May 9, Happy mummys' day...well, it was a different experience at church yesterday. for the first time, i gota talk to more aunties in church and tell them how i appreciate them being my "mummy". guess without them in church, i won't feel that homely and pampered by their smiles and cooking every saturday. =)
i've been thinking over the decision of whether to go back this june for a break. many things crowded my mind lately. as usual, gracie is thinking through things again...the thinker is back! well, guess my mom and dad miss me quite a bit lately and i wish to go back....but really, when i sat down and seriously think over, it's just not worth the money and effort to do so cos' i'll be going back end of the year anyway. over here in church, i've been asked to be more involved in giving bible studies, translating and teaching caregroups during my holidays. guess time will fly past quite quickly....1 month....? well well, i wish i could have a chance to be at both places at the same time.....how nice it would be! *dream on, girl!?* it's simply impossible! after deep consideration, i've decided to stay on...and really enjoy the 1 month holidays here in melbourne and really "enjoy" the winter!
it's been turning colder lately....it was always foggy in the mornings....less than 6 degrees!~ have been having running nose lately....too cold....grrrrrr....rrrr....i just refuse to leave my warm blankey every morning cos' i know it's gona be cold once i step out of it! arghhh, it's just a struggle every morning.........
~gracie left a note at 10:01 am
Friday, May 07, 2004
Arhh! It's May 7th already!! lotsa things happened yesterday! while i was on the shuttle bus to Caulfield campus, a familiar song was played.....whoaaa! lotsa memories floated into my mind at once! i was initially reading my notes but after the first line of the song was sung, i just couldn't concentrate much longer!
"Packing up the dreams God planted..." oh man!!! my favourite song....
And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
Cos the welcome will not end
For it's hard to let you go
But in the Father's Hands we know
That a lifetime is not too long....
To live as friends
this song brings back memories...of the old old past...of times when friends part at airports and we often cry as we sung this song. oh yes, friends are forever...and it's when we are so close so close that it's time for them to go. i was also once again reminded of my own departure from the Changi Airport too...still remember, 17th Feb 2002...of how i had to leave that land i called 'home'...leave the memories behind and to come over here to start a new page of my life. time flies, isn't it? so many things have happened over time....people change...i change too! but
friends are still friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them. i trust that God is watching over every single friend of mine...and i know that distance does not keep us apart.
And just yesterday, i met new friends too. i'm sure the Lord has His plans that i gota know willie as my project mate. even though we came together because of this proj, but through our sharing over meals, we are drawn closer. i know that she really loves God alot and that's what makes us closer still. we worked on our project till 11pm at the library last night...and for once, i came back so late from the library! her bf was so nice to send me back last night and it was fun to know willie's group of God-fearing friends. sometimes i just feel envious of her...i just wished i'm that close to my church friends....i just wished i could study, have fun and serve God together with a bunch of God-fearing people. that's why, sometimes i just long for home; where i feel belong....
my mom was on the other hand, worried for me. she called and asked my hsemates where i was and they weren't sure as well~ when i finally got home, they all felt relieved! and mom asked me whether if i wana go back this june.....whoa! what a time to ask me this question. yeah, i really want to....especially when my bf is sick, i really wana go back and see how he is, spend time with him, especially when our bdays are both in june....and really, i want to spend time with my family. *tempting!* it's a dilemma~ but coming back to think about it, it's just for 1 month...a waste of money to fly home. i promised myself once that i won't go back till end of this year because i really want to enjoy what i have at present. even though the winter here is a bit irritating...but it's my final chance to go to the snow! sus, bron and james have great camping plans in mind and i wished to spend time with them too....well, *dilemma* would someone please help me out?
~gracie left a note at 9:15 am
Wednesday, May 05, 2004
May 5, the battle is on! time to struggle through the most difficult time of the semester! it's assignment month, i call it. i have one 4000-word SCY essay to hand in next week, 2 3500-word history essays the following week, 1 2000-word SWK essay and 1 video interview with a 'client'. it's extreeeemly challenging this semester and i'm finding it difficult to cope at times.
recently, i'm focussing hard on a social psych project done on uni students to try and understand why students choose to come to uni at this point in their life and how that affects their performance in uni. very challenging but fun! i gota interview one of my friends and woh! there's alot of "gold" in his responses, which are so useful for my research project! from this project, i have also begun to understand myself as a student much more: my motivations to study at uni and how i can effectively push myself to study harder. indeed, i find myself intrinsically motivated.....very interested in learning and exploring more and i'm just very keen in struggling through that process of learning. i emerge as a better learned person, i think! that's why, even though i complain a lot about the stress i've to go through this month, i'm at the same time enjoying what i'm doing too! it's difficult to reconcile these two factors. well, i know it's worth the effort!
my tutors give me lots of golden advices and encouragement too....that really cheers me on! jane told me today: "Gracie, i know you are capable in writing a good essay! let's work on writing the best essay and i'll try to help you achieve that." whoh!!~ that's sucha comforting statement to me! i just hope i don't disappoint my tutor this sem.....and i really wana very much get the HD.....i really want to....
~gracie left a note at 6:14 pm
