i'm in my sian moods recently. don't really wana do something concrete and just wana rest my mind from a million thoughts. chanced upon jasper's blog and thought of doing the same:
Name 11 people you can think of right now in your head *three of which must be of the opp sex* 1. liumin 2. jean 3. joel 4. elton 5. danny 6. grace 7. jasmine 8. chris 9. jen 10. elaine 11. ailing
1. How did you meet 10? at office
2. What would you do if you never met 2? i would have missed out a lot of fun, witty jokes and lunch kaki ;)
3. What would you do if 9 and 11 dated? err...don't know?!
4. Do you like 7? well, we're childhood friends -so what do you tink?
5. Would 5 and 6 make a good couple? Er...not possible, cos one of them's married. can't imagine them together.
6. Describe 3 very obsessed with dolling himself up and looking good - a perfectionist in fashion details.
7. Do you think 8 is attractive? yeah -beauty is in the eye of the beholder. he's got nice pair of eyes to see me through difficulties and a pair of good arms to hold me when i fall.
8. Tell me something about 9 she's very easy going and very encouraging.
9. Do you know any of 4's family? Hmm, haven't met them yet.
10. What is 5's favourite things? Haven't known him enough to say much. perhaps on his top list would be drinking tea and beer. *kidding* he loves going on missionary trips and Cambodia ;)
11. What would you do if 10 confesses he/she likes you? told her once jokingly, "elaine -you're not my type!" ;) (haha, she's straight! i know...)
12. What language does 6 speaks? usually mandarin and english. also trying to pick up cantonese.
13. Who is 9 going out with? err...no one at the moment, if im not wrong.
14. How old is 8 now? 28
15. When is the last time you talked to 1? this afternoon over msn
16. What is 2 favourite band/singer? i don't really know -cos' she's not really into music.
17. Would you ever date 7? no...she's married! and i'm straight! and we are blood related!
18. Would you ever date 11? no...i'm straight.
19. Have you ever seen 8 naked? errr...mm... *roll eyes*
~gracie left a note at 10:50 pm
Thursday, September 28, 2006
The Big "C" work has been piling up lately. it didn't really help to have so much activities crashing up together. however, despite the busyness, i felt a sense of fulfilment somehow lately.
commitment is a BIG 'C' word. it becomes overwhelming when you think of the time, the effort put in and the amount of patience you need to give to see something grow. it has become a very huge thing in my life right now. i have been considering it for a long while. time to make a decision on it somehow, sometime sooner.
work's a commitment. even though the responsibilities have increased over the past months, i felt appreciated for the hardwork put in. just received an email from my Director minutes ago saying "gracie, you did a good job!" -that means so much to me. perhaps it's a motivating factor for me to want to give more, sacrifice more and learn more. i must say the learning curve has been as steep as before, but the journey thus far has been gratifying. im still looking forward to work these days!
building relationships too, has become one of my goals lately. ever since i plunge into singlehood, life has been different, but good. i found more time for myself and for friends too. been doing a lot of catching up with oldies (old besties) and i feel great having to know how they have progressed in life. most of them have gotten married, and others thinking of marriage in the next 2 years. sometimes, it becomes a peer pressure thing to talk about marriage at a gathering. and somehow people talk about why some ppl are still single and .... oh well, i always found myself trapped when such conversations start. anyway, i'm pretty excited about december! it's a time of reunions with friends from aussie. (hey -if you guys need a room, let me know!! im willing to share my room and even my bed with you :)anyway, that's what besties are for!)
it takes courage to set your heart to commitment, because this BIG 'C' holds you responsible for any action(s) done henceforth. you will be obligated to someone or something upon pledging your heart and soul to it. it's the fear of the unknown and fear of the future challenges that create doubts in our minds. the fear of the 'what ifs' makes us fall back to our own comfort zones.
in the past, i saw commitment as the matter of opening your heart and having the willingness. but i realise over time that having a willing heart isn't enough. one needs to feel assured of one's abilities to conquer the challenges ahead. or else, fear overpowers and rides on willingess.
are you struggling with this BIG "C" too?
~gracie left a note at 12:23 am
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
beyond the open door
In the things familiar we find security Resisting all the changes that days and years can bring, When God decides to lead you through an open door Inviting you to walk in realms you've never walked before.
Beyond the open door is a new and fresh anointing, Hear the Spirit calling you to go. Walk on through the door for the Lord will go before you Into a greater power you've never known before.
Hear the spirit calling to wake the living dead, To reach the huddled masses who cry out for living bread. Arise oh mighty army, take up thy shield and sword For the Father lifts His golden lamp beside the open door.
Beyond the open door is a new and fresh anointing, Hear the Spirit calling you to go. Walk on through the door for the Lord will go before you Into a greater power you've never known (build and change keys)
Beyond the open door is a new and fresh anointing, Hear the Spirit calling you to go. Walk on through the door for the Lord will go before you Into a greater power you've never known (soften) . . .
Where He leads me, I will follow Where He leads me, I will follow And where He leads me, I will follow Into a greater power we've never known before, Beyond the open door.
~gracie left a note at 4:03 pm
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
distance makes the heart fonder i wonder sometimes how anyone could control one's emos, especially at places like the departure hall at changi airport. farewell is difficult, when you have grown so close to that someone over time.
my return to the departure hall last evening brought back memories. when i took a glance at ann's truckload of luggages, they reminded me of those days when i had to leave for australia. saying goodbye to my besties was difficult then, but i held back my tears. perhaps i was looking forward to a new beginning there at aussieland. and yes, indeed, i did have a lot of good memories of that place i used to call home. memories flooded my mind as i saw how her 'ah-ben' lovingly helped her with her luggages and check-in procedures.
as i had to take an early leave to mr pianist's house, i urged ann and ailing to take some pictures together before i left. 'ah-ben' took the camera and we had pictures together. yes, we smiled. why must farewells be sad? i guessed it must have been easier for us to smile, than for 'ah-ben'. the distance will make the heart fonder. i agree.
because of the distance, you had wished you were closer. you treasure the moments together. you look forward to the reunion. you would miss each other till you meet. life continues after she leaves, but you'd always have her in mind wherever you go. no matter how far the distance may be, you can't deny that you would miss her much. it's no wonder that 'ah-ben' cried.
painful, i hope i never had to face it again. but separations are always part and parcel of life. you never could prevent it. once it's your time to go, you'd have to say goodbye. separations make the heart fonder. we just gota face it. tough.
~gracie left a note at 9:26 am
Monday, September 25, 2006
dresses from korea fell in love with these dresses!! how am i suppose to resist shopping??!! especially when they look so nice. dresses will be coming from korea in october....awaiting! ladies interested? let me know. many more coming...
~gracie left a note at 2:05 pm
dear mr broad shoulders, i call on you when i need your wide shoulders to cry on. help! please give me the courage to carry on. i know i have been trying and have succeeded in some occasions. i need the determination to live my life. i need liberation.
have come face to face with my fears lately. i knew i have gota face them somehow, somewhere, sometime. no matter how i runaway from it, i know the fear is still there. the fear of losing someone. the fear of failing in the future. the fear of the unknown. the path in front of me which im treading on is way unknown for me. i used to bear the hope and direction in where i'm going. now, i'm at a loss. i need courage to carry on my footsteps. i need a guiding light. i need a shoulder to carry me on.
all these while, i have been waiting for an answer. a response of hope that will bring me to the future. i have been praying for it, asking for it and waiting for it. much recently, i got the answer. not quite final, but to me, i have decided to call it an end. and from this moment on, i will live as if memory has never been existent. i will go on and not let the past control my soul. i will not look back, never - ever.
i have been trying to start afresh ever since years ago. never had the courage. never had the determination. i have no faith that the future is better. from this day on, you will truly see a new gracie. i have decided to dedicate my commitment to others. mr broad shoulders, you will support me, won't ya?
~gracie left a note at 11:50 am
Friday, September 22, 2006
broke into laughters after reading today's Newpaper about how creative a woman was in scheming her self-invented booby trap for those loansharks appearing outside her house door. she, being a guarantor for her friends, had been often harrassed by the loansharks.
she came up with an innovative plan to dunk 'medicated-oil' bombs at her enemies. a very traditional and laughable solution to the harrassment, but it worked! she managed to get the police in time to arrest that unwelcomed 'visitor' yesterday. so comical :) to think that it actually happen in real life...
this reminds me so much of the short film i watched recently done by the IMD students in school. the project titled: O$P$ done by Sampan Productions in collaboration with Ang Gong Media. of course, the storyline is ficticious! for all those interested, visit: owemoneypaymoneythefilm.com. i had my share of laughters when viewing the show too. (linus & adree -you did a good job in directing the film!) partly also because of the script and the acting skills of the cast that made everything worked.
~gracie left a note at 3:19 pm
Lerk Thai as always, when people gather together, they do one thing: EAT! i haven't had dinners for the past 2 weeks in my determined attempts to lose those calories. but i had to give myself an excuse to eat something last evening. the something ended up to be a plateful of rice, green curry, fish cake, almost everything you see on this menu!!! ahhh....FATTENING! but of cos, it's shared!
it was trud's welcome gathering. haven't seen her for 10 years! man, i feel old now. i vividly remembered we said goodbye at the airport. we flooded the airport with tears. we sang 'friends forever' just before we bid goodbye. and yes indeed, we are still friends 10 years after. so much memories. everyone changed. things change over time. but i thank God that friendships stay forever for some.
oh yar, we had a great time eating, catching up and of course, sharing fond memories of our embarrassing past. so much about history. it's time to move on. time has been flying past very quickly these days. i haven't had time to catch up with whatever i have been doing!
time, can you please stop for me...?
~gracie left a note at 10:39 am
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
foolishness gracie feels like an idiot now. shouldn't have responded to the message on MSN, a very silly move. i wished i had said something wiser. i ended up rattling on something which didn't make sense.
i thought i have already moved on in my small little world of my own here. whenever im getting little successes in ridding the memory off, things crashed. i wished i could be stronger. i wished i was.
perhaps like ivan have previously mentioned, new memories can override
im determined to be strong. can someone help me out here?
~gracie left a note at 6:04 pm
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
friends during SPARK Camp, all of us were asked to write down what are the things we searched for in life. and one of them responded: "Blossom Friends". *laughters* well, it's bosom friends ;)
have you been searching all your life for a bosom friend? perhaps. i consider myself fortunate to have met some bosom friends. friends i have grown attached to over time. friends whom are ever willing to sit by to share their all in all with me. friends i can count on.
there are just some people in your life. no matter how far you may drift away and how long you may not have contacted each other, you will still yadda a lot when you meet. and i missed them in my life right now. most of them in aussieland.
they are visiting sunny singapore end of the year. how great is that? i missed them too much. it's been 2 years since we said goodbye. im happy that i need not wait till heaven to meet you, Fei-lou! ;) it's bit too long a wait!! and of cos, can't wait to catch up with Bayview Avenue-people!!
perhaps we all went through too many moments together and i can't help but reminsce over the good times we have had. and singing the theme song at SPARK Camp brought me tonnes of sweet moments. we sang this song in almost every occasion - birthday parties, camps, farewells and thanksgiving sessions. it's a source of inspiration and encouragement to our souls - a reminder of how we should continually hold on to our bosom friend - Jesus - no matter what may come in future.
Will You Love Jesus More Words and music by Shawn Craig and John Mandeville
I'd like to keep these memories In frames of gold and silver And reminisce a year from now About the smiles we've shared
But above all else I hope you will come To know the Father's love And when you see the Lord face to face You'll hear Him say "well done."
Will you love Jesus more When we go our different ways When this moment is a memory Will you remember His face Will you look back and realize You sensed His love more than you did before I pray for nothing less than for you to love Jesus more
i wonder if this is a season to meet bosom friends? maybe it is. i have said goodbye to some of these people at airports. tears flood our eyes. and now, it's time to meet! time flies!!
~gracie left a note at 11:48 am
Monday, September 18, 2006
fruitful weekend many many snippets of events made me smile since friday. fruitful - not sure if this is the best word to describe, but i enjoyed many moments through weekend. wonder if im going through a rollarcoaster ride in emotions. it is terrible sometimes, when gracie goes into that kinda state.
anyway, friday was superbly happening! was at a P3 presentation done by the IMD/MOI students and the 3 'short movies' were super cool. i must congratulate the 3 film-directors - really, you guys did a good job! you might feel that you haven't done well, but you have already given in your best, really. im utterly impressed with the amount of humour, wit and animations added into the film, which got me really engrossed in them.
the highlight of my friday was my face2face meeting with hady and jon leong! aww~ it's awesome! they are just...cool. jon's deep voice still attracts me. still. yes, i almost fainted when he gently smiled. it's just unbelievable! seems like im going through a second wave of puberty! seriously going 'ga-ga' over pop stars?! (huh!! hmm...still? at this age???!!) anyway...
picture taken on 15/09/06 - hady and jon dancing the 'chicky dance':
i had a tough time trying to get my internet up and running through weekend. it's been down for 2 weeks and i have been procrastinating. i knew i had to sit down and start fixing the internet connection somehow, sometime soon. sat down doing it at 11pm, a bit late. and i truly regretted it - din sleep till 1AM ++ and yes, i got my line working at 12.55AM and was too happy about it! (FYI, the line is down again...sickening!) im left with a good internet connection BUT note: can't surf websites. anyway, will be seeking help from some pc experts. (i simply feel upset about it...agghh, frustrating!)
saturday was a full-on day...tiring, i must say. was on high heels for the entire day *ouch* despite the lerthagy, had to fulfil my receptionist duties. was the greeter at the door for Hearts on Fire music concert night. never regretted staying behind. great songs! great voice! and i've drawn closer to music and God. i simply loved the song of the night: The Prayer. previously sung by Josh Groban & Charlotte Church, fell in love with this song previously when i was in aussie. and that brought me loads of memories, as the song played on. good on you, guys!
sunday came in a rush. i hadn't have time to do my work! woke up superbly late and had a late breakfast. rushed through my report writing and then i was out with my friend, whom i haven't met for quite awhile i must say. caught up a bit...had a very good lunch...and very good shopping at Orchard and back at NP. my weekend ended off with my completion of my report in front of my laptop. great that i called it a day at 9.30PM. phew!
~gracie left a note at 5:47 pm
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Dating Mr. Popular have you ever dated Mr. Popular? maybe you have. i dreamt of him last night.
blame it on Mr. Popular. on my way home from work yesterday, had a long chat with Mr. Popular. as usual, he 'boasted' about how girls just go 'ga-ga' over him without apparent reasons. and we went on having an intellectual argument over dating popular guys. i told him that i'd rather go for non-popular guys. and he rebutted saying that the only reason is that i fear competition!? and we went on and on about going for the Outrageous, Extraordinary, Special, Unique OR the Simple, Ordinary and Normal. given a choice, i'd still choose the simple and ordinary. perhaps the hidden reason is because i truly hated competition. and i know i'm gona lose if placed on a competing range.
oh, the truth of the matter was, the conversation left a deep impact in my subconsciousness. i dreamt about it. in my dreams, i received a call from the Famous Jonathan Leong. he asked me for a date and requested that i go out with him before he performed his final show. in my dreams, of course i was surprised. i was dumbfounded for awhile. subsequently, i asked jon, "would you be busy with Idol preparations? you are so popular among girls...why me??" and he responded with a smile, "i just want you..." aww~ in my dream, i knew i was dreaming! how could it be ever possible to date Mr. Popular? crazy dream. nah. never in real life.
would you?
~gracie left a note at 10:05 am
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
becoming a nanny + god-ma Job description: 1. feed zai-zai when his mum has not enough breast milk 2. change diaper for zai-zai when he's uncomfortable 3. give zai-zai ang-bao at chinese new year 4. be present at zai-zai's future birthday parties ... ... ...
and many more...the list goes on. i had unconsciously agreed to the above job descriptions when i became bridesmaid at my bestfriend's wedding 2 years ago. accepting the big ang-bao from the wedded couple then meant that i have silently agreed to become zai-zai's maid and god-ma today! the terms came with the silent agreement?! :)
time flies. i remembered how my best friend broke the good news to me in the car months ago. i visited her yesterday at the hospital. could feel the warmth of a happy family. the air is filled with happiness and joy at the arrival of the little one. zai-zai hasn't got a name yet. he's got the mummy's eyes, ears and lips. most of all, he's got a pair of adorable dimples.
pretty soon, i, nanny of zai-zai, would have to assume the above duties :) and soon, zai-zai will grow up too. once i told joyce: if one day, zai-zai comes to us and say: "aunty gracie and joyce, im getting married next month. please be present at my wedding." oh!! that means we have grown old!!
~gracie left a note at 10:00 am
Thursday, September 07, 2006
memories of the bali paradise experience..
done by dan, uploaded on 6 Sept 06
~gracie left a note at 12:18 pm
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
i wana get married!!
Cannon in D - by Kotaro Oshio
as he plays, tears came to my eyes. too much memories of....oh well, i wana get married. married to the right man of my life. mr right, please come soon! don't linger too long at sahara desert...or mount kinabaru...come quickly.
~gracie left a note at 2:19 pm
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Struggles what would you do if you received a $8K proposal ring from the guy who has been waiting for you all his life?
my first reaction was "aww, how sweet!" when i heard of how someone planned a $10K marriage proposal for his gf. of course, i would gladly accept the wonderful surprise of a diamond ring, a bouquet of roses & the man of my life on his knees. but realistically, i won't expect him to do so much, even though i'd love to. simple proposals (like what ab said, he would bring her to paris) would do the trick on me too, if he's the one i have fallen deeply in love with.
... ...
Thoughts of him floated into my mind. i have been denying his persistent presence in my memories for the past months. yet, i know he still lingers in my heart. i thought about how good a husband he will be when my colleague told me over lunch yesterday of how loving her hubby has been. i thought of him as i walked passed PS GV. i recalled the last movie we watched together at PS. i remembered his last hug before we bid our last goodbye. i recalled how he used to call me 'kong ba bao' whenever we walked past PS. i remembered how much i wanted to fly back singapore to meet him every summer holiday when i was still studying at aussie land. i recalled those days when we quarrelled and how we reconciled with a big beary hug from him. whenever these thoughts come to mind, i try to whack it off by feeding my brain with other happier memories of other things in life.
i thought i could forget. but the truth is, i missed him. i have been dreaming of him lately. sweet dreams. and dreams being dreams, you wake up to reality. many times i wished there would be more dejavus in my life. dejavus that will allow me to relive my sweet moments i had in my dreams. as i opened my eyes this morning, i knew that i couldn't deny his presence in my life anymore.
perhaps he has forgotten abt me...perhaps i haven't been important at all...perhaps i'm the only silly fella who is holding on to the past. or perhaps he's trying to move on with his life too. perhaps he's struggling with his own issues and decisions. love is not selfish. love is not demanding a change in him to suit my needs and wants. love is about giving, being understanding and patient with circumstances. perhaps it's just not meant to be...
forgetting someone takes time. maybe a long, long time....when memory fades.
~gracie left a note at 4:54 pm
bok bok & mer mer was present at padang on friday night for the opening of SB2006. the two mascots danced to start off the opening night party. so cute!
it was a night of fun...where art juices start flowing...;)
our design students at fashion show. inspired by the renowned artist Kusama Yayoi, they did their polka dot colourful garment designs. cool!
~gracie left a note at 10:28 am
Friday, September 01, 2006
Singapore Biennale 2006 what's SB2006, you may ask? it's the country's largest art exhibition! as Singapore's first ever international biennale of contemporary visual art, SB2006 will feature a diverse gathering of 95 renowned artists and art collectives from over 38 counties and regions, including Singapore. this important international event is holding its opening night party at padang this evening.
for the first time, im taking on a role of a journalist at the event. checked items. 1. digital camera 2. note book and pen 3. recorder .. .. .. have i missed out anything? tell me if i had!
been involved in this big event because 10 of my school's fashion designers will be sashaying down the runway with their works, inspired by the famous artist Yayoi Kusama. will be at backstage interviewing students and snapping appropriate photographs for publication and our school's design website. more so, i heard that my contributions will also be printed on ST.
excited. my excitement derives from the realisation of my childhood dreams. have always wanted to become a journalist. here's an experience. and that is very much treasured one which im looking forward to! ;)
~gracie left a note at 9:41 am
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gracie
activities: beach-ing, swimming, camping
interests: music, history
birthday: 18 june
home sweet home: singapore
