losers let it happen, winners make it happen! how true! sometimes i wonder if its ever a good idea to be proactive, initiative, enthusiastic? to make things happen, rather than to wait for things to fall from the sky? there are some things in life which we just have to work really hard for. we don't necessary inherit them from our parents. we may not possess lots of talents or creativity. sometimes, it's the hard work, it's the self determination and the motivation and the urge to make it happen that brings us to success.
this i got from the Burning Questions talk by one of the ADM alumnus. she said, "when you want something, you really die-die work for it.” she spoke of her journey to success through 3 years in Design School. she shared about how she attained scholarships and brilliant results. she related her overseas education experience at UNSW. everything felt so familiar. i could smell the aussie air in the lecture theatre. the aussie slang, the talk about the aussie lifestyle, aussie school campus life. as i penned down the main points on my notebook for reporting purposes, i daydreamt too. recollections of the aussie school life flooded my mind...so much reminisces.
yes, like her - i grew up a lot after the 3 years in melbourne. perhaps more independent too? cooked, washed, bought groceries, repaired the lights, changed light bulbs, plumbered the toilets, paid off electricity, water, heater, internet, phone bills... my housemates became my besties. my school mates became my project buddies. my church mates became my family. what i missed most of singapore then? national day. mooncake. roti prata. orchard road. attained Double Hons scholarship, but decided that i missed singapore too much.
returned with a strong aussie slang. i still do slang a lot, if i wana. realised that over the years, i became a couch potato. perhaps i depended more on people here now that im no longer alone. realised that some times, when i do make efforts to make things happen, things fall apart over time. the more you meddle with things, the worst it gets. the more you try to be a winner, the more you end up becoming a loser. maybe i've adopted the aussie way of taking things easy? maybe i lost my passion for some things over the years? maybe it's better not to work so hard and compromise time spent on other important priorities in life?
what would life be beyond march 07? i don't know. and it remains a mystery. until then, i'll just keep my fingers crossed. another life's crossroad for me. it's time to contemplate and see if it's necessary to make things happen!
She's Prettier! had the most funniest conversation with addy just now. to start with, he didn't know much of my family. anyway, here goes:
addy: oh my gosh! [your msn pic...] gracie: what about my pic? addy: what a weird pose?! gracie: who? addy: your friend la..she is so weird... gracie: SHE?!? addy: yeah! her pose is so... gracie: ermmm...by the way, he's my brother. addy: oh no oops! he's got such long hair. gracie: haha yeah, we look similar. addy: you look prettier. gracie: do you know who is me?? addy: the one on the left la! Errmm... gracie: don't wana talk to you...shoo!!
"silly girl!" it's been so long since someone called me by that name. so much of memories of my childish past. when i told mr tall man my honest thoughts, he called me 'silly girl!' and afterwhich i got hit on my head, poked and disturbed by mr See-Gao (Scout - hee. you know who u r!) too, which totally caught me by surprise! it's as if i'm living my secondary school days again. so childish!!!! *shake head...;)*
~gracie left a note at 5:03 pm
Monday, January 22, 2007
H. A. L. T was reading Newpaper entry written by Joanna Hughes, which i felt i should just share over here. life in singapore is so uptight. sometimes when you are too hungry, too angry, too lonely, too tired, you just need to stop what you are doing and attend to yourself:
Hungry: when you haven't eaten- and eating plays a big role in our mental weather - eat something, preferably something nutritious, but something.
Angry: if you are angry, take time to just rest your mind and figure out where those seeds of insecurities or stress or monumental explosion originate.
Lonely: if you are too lonely, call up a friend, meet up for a coffee, reconnect with the people who care about you.
Tired: if you are tired, you need to sleep, but sleep is hard to come by in Singapore as free rubies on Orchard Road are.
~gracie left a note at 5:59 pm
love's not about wanting...it's about waiting. i'm saying this to certain individuals, who have confided in me their stories lately. sometimes when we sit down and think about it, things can become really complicated. and sometimes when we are in it, we feel so seemingly lost that we don't know our way out.
it's rather recently that i realised that love's not about wanting. very often, we hold onto our list of expectations and criterias so closely to our hearts. and we ask ourselves, why isn't the other party doing something about it? why isn't he caring for me? why isn't he showing me concern?especially when we do have a long queue of guys after us, we tend to adhere to our list and cross out those names whom we felt don't meet our criterias. just as we are ticking off our lists, guess what? the guys on the other end are doing the same. and at the end of the day, we found ourselves disillusioned by this whole thing.
sometimes love knocks on the door at unexpected moments. we don't plan and special people walk into our lives suddenly. girls flock into your life suddenly and you may not know how to handle this sudden flood of girls!! if so, what do we do? close your doors? close your eyes? well, love's about waiting. wait till you are ready, then go ahead with pursuing happiness. love's about being patient. love's about accepting the goods and bads of the significant other. love's about making things work. love's about growing closer in character perfection together. and love endures.
so with time, you'll find that special someone. and when he or she is here, you'll know. i think so.
~gracie left a note at 9:37 am
Sunday, January 21, 2007
50th Anniversary i have been lookin at old photos. man! so much of reminiscing the past. a lot of fond memories of the old place, the antiques and the beautiful people who have left footprints behind.
im referring to our church's 50th Anniversary celebrations. i'd say i grew up in church. it was my second home somehow. i found childhood friends there and i seemingly grew up with them. a lot of fond memories.
and yes, will be celebrating 50th Anniversary this weekend. lots to look forward to! going to lead worship and being part of the celebrations. dressing up in 50s costume! just so cool :)
~gracie left a note at 10:10 pm
Thursday, January 18, 2007
"mummy! it's over..." wonder if you have watched the Just For Laughs program on TV Mobile during one of those boring moments in the bus. i think you might have noticed the most funny line at the end of each episode: "mummy! it's over!"
i've learnt quite recently to say that line and laugh at challenges. to say, "mummy! it's over!" and believe that reconciliation brings peace to the heart. been really troubled lately, because i felt that my selfishness has caused so much pain for everyone around me. it was after last night's conversation that everything came to a close. full stop. i felt that i could move on. i knew that i could sleep better. simply because, my heart was settled. doubts clarified. sins forgiven. faults erased.
it's just so difficult to convince myself that everything's fine, when everything's not. i know for certain, i needed to talk things out before things become fine. and yes, i feel so much better now. really. perhaps when it comes to interpersonal relationships, i become very vulnerable. i dont want to hurt others; i don't want to get hurt. more often than not, many a times, we hurt others and we get hurt. relationships being mutual, are interconnected and thus, like germs or gems, they can spread around or are superbly cherished by 2 parties.
i'm glad i can seriously heave a sigh of relief. "mummy - it's over!!" and yeah, ain't i glad it's over! i can finally let all the burdens go and breathe freedom and new life.
~gracie left a note at 10:12 pm
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
fig and olives i haven't been feeling well these days. groggy. tired. feverish. nonetheless, i made it for our annual dinner meeting. we have been wanting to meet up for dinner since november last year. it took us 3 months to make our plans materialise! so much for efficiency :)
it's always good to sit around the table and just catch up with each other. i've been doing lots of these things recently, with friends whom i've lost touch with or not caught up for ages.
as i look closely at the friendships i have established over time, i feel that i draw my lines quite boldly. perhaps sometimes lines become blurry, but i've chosen to reveal the 'real' gracie to people whom i've come close to. and coming closer means being more-than-friends or acquaintances.
perhaps the fear of being hurt becomes stronger as we mature over the years. we are afraid to give it all to someone, and then realise that the party on the other end isn't reciprocating. since all relationships are mutual, it just takes a little more effort, more love, more attention to notice the needs of others. yes, we sacrifice more eventually; but we grow closer too, i believe.
~gracie left a note at 11:55 pm
Thursday, January 11, 2007
"happy burf-day to you!" i have said that 3X since Jan 2007 started. it was bestie's bday on 2nd. mum's bday 3days ago. ivan's on 10 jan. somehow birthdays have become special days to remember for me this year.
never. i'm not going to take special people in my life for granted. very often we take them for granted. we assume that they will always be around 24/7 eternally. and we feel that birthdays are just days to commemorate the birth of someone.
yet, i know - life shouldn't be taken for granted. the fact that we are still breathing is already a blessing, a special blessing indeed. and for special people to cross our life's pathways, shouldn't we take this once-in-a-year occasion to thank them, appreciate them and embrace them?
of cos - that depends on how close you are. intimacy is built over time. have u ever hugged ur bestie and showed concern? if u havent, do it soon! for you never wana regret.
~gracie left a note at 11:34 pm
Monday, January 08, 2007
Curse of the Golden Flower
watched this on ivan's bloggie. i found it pretty arty, as usual.
~gracie left a note at 10:52 pm
Thursday, January 04, 2007
the seed once upon a time there is a seed called Friendship everyday, little miss sunshine and little mr rainfall will shower it with tender loving care over time, friendship blossomed into a tree
they named the tree...
LOVE
would you be my little mr rainfall?
~gracie left a note at 10:58 am
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
fireworks of life: year 2007 everyone's bloggin about the new year. i'd love to but there's just so much to ramble about!! life hasn't been the most perfect for me in 2006, but i've grown to cherish. to live to heart's content. to love with all my heart. to give all i have. to smile at life's challenges. to brave thru storms in life. i feel that gracie has been the bravest in 2006. she's seen major milestones, yet she survived.
despite those few life's hard knocks in 2006, i'm glad gracie's still cheery, still hopeful of this new year ahead. everything's gona be better. even though i know i'll be making some important decisions soon and more changes to come, i still maintain my trust in God.
we often wish each other, 'happy new year'. i do hope that it's going to be a happy one for all. life is full of ups and downs. how do we be happy? joy comes not from the environment, but from our hearts. despite the uneasiness, doubts and fears of the future, i know cheerfulness will remain in my heart.
ever since i stepped back in this small island, the classic sunshine smile left me. im glad it's back recently. it's not that life hasn't been challenging. i've chosen to smile at old memories, but build on better ones. isn't it very sad to always harp on the old past? no, i forbid myself to live in history in 2007.
as i witness the pretty fireworks displayed on the night skies at midnight of new year's day, i was so awed by its brightness. its beauty lasted only seconds. but those were the moments of greatness that would last forever in memory. we may not have the entire lifetime to watch fireworks every year, but let our lives be a fireworks display. may we bring joy through our pretty smiles, our positive belief and earnest interactions with others.
~gracie left a note at 12:03 am
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gracie
activities: beach-ing, swimming, camping
interests: music, history
birthday: 18 june
home sweet home: singapore
