Kiss Goodbyemixed feelings surged my heart. it's time to kiss goodbye. nope, not to someone special. rather, to something special. yep, i'm talking about my sony ericsson k700i. it was with me ever since i started life anew back here in singapore. so much memories. just ignore me, i'm just a sentimental person who's reminiscing those good old days when i was romantically in love with my phone! on the other hand, i feel thrilled to possess my new sony ericsson z520i! i have personalised my ringtones and have made it super girl-ish. hee~ with pink flowery wall paper!! :)
now that i'm determined to shed off history and move on with life anew 2006, i realised that everything's need a change. not only my phone, i'm talking about everything! perceptions of work, life, friends, loved ones and everything about gracie. change? it's a hard word. it's a process of adapting to new things. it would be a difficult process for those who keep on holding onto the past. for them, change will take place slower, or maybe not at all. and for me, i'm now in-between. that's why~ the mixed feelings.
i'd love a change. changes are sometimes good, cos you tend to move on to a different horizon. you challenge yourself to grow in the process and you make yourself a better person! however, i wana keep memories of the past too. i refuse to let them go out of my mind altogether. memories are precious and i always strive to keep them close to my soul.
looking on the brighter side: the old things are now passed away, the new things have come! optimists would say, don't look back at how bad life was before! look ahead and you'd find meaning in life. that's true. what matters is, have you found fulfilment in life today? nevermind what happened yesterday, if you have failed, if you have made a mistake, if you had a bad day. start afresh each day and seize opportunities to grow to become a better person today.
it's time to kiss goodbye to yesterday. be happy today.
~gracie left a note at 3:09 pm
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Matured, Muscular & MachoHaven't seen him for a long time. i remembered the very last occasion i met him was at his dad's funeral. his face then revealed pain and agony over his dad's passing, but also that longing for someone to sit by to listen to him. before i left, he gestured to me to ask me over. he whispered to me softly asking me to meet his mum. i didn't know what to say, but just comforted his mom saying, 'aunty pls take care'. even though there was silence between us, i knew from his eyes that he really wished someone was there for him during that critical period of time. i know, because he was my ex for a period of time. we were close friends then, very good friends in fact. it was funny how we got together. well, those were the innocent days.
Today, i received an sms from my buddy. she told me she bumped into him just today. well, singapore is a small place and yes, you often meet people along the streets all the time. and it's incidents like these when it takes courage to say: hey hi! are you so-and-so? especially when you haven't met for ages and when you aren't sure if you have recognised the person correctly. and yes, my buddy said he's grown more matured, muscular and macho as compared to before! [he's very good looking many years ago! man! i can't imagine now!!) he asked my buddy how i am doing and i'm surprised he still remembers my hs number! man! (am i heartless or forgetful or what??!! can't even remember his number!) anyway, i'm thankful that God has been taking care of him all these while! no matter where he is, i know God is watching over him.
This little incident brings me back to the sweet memories of the good old past! oh, that was just sucha long time ago. it's good that i'm only remembering the good things, the sweet memories and the places we visited. remembered how we made sandwiches for each other, because we didn't have enough money to go to restaurants. those were sweet moments which millionaires can't buy. it's never the same now that i have started earning....always remembered how my mum used to nag: "dont start gettin serious in relationships until you are financially stable!" to me, there may be an element of truth in there as you may be more stable in selection for future partner when you are older. but i guess when you start earning, you tend to start dating at high class restaurants and have expensive dinners. i realised that i have stopped doing those lovey-dovey things which i used to do anymore. no longer would i spend time to make cards, cook desserts and sandwiches, think of cheap nice places to go.....all these things? gone with the wind! well, i guess im just a simple girl who doesn't want to sit in high class restaurants all the time, having well-served 10 course dinner. haha...weird eh??~
~gracie left a note at 7:07 pm
Friday, March 24, 2006
The Super Sunday EpisodeHaven't blogged for ages! reason? too much to keep up with! many things have happened in the course of the past few months since i last blogged. i shan't look back at history for any regrets, but to move forward in anticipation for new things in life! it seemed like i have started another chapter of my life this month, a new turning point. went for a long vacation at Bali, enjoyed the nicest spa and good food i could have! went to the most unforgetable scenic places and also added new memories to my life.
I have been a couch potato for awhile. and i enjoyed being one! hee,yes, i'm serious! watched the program--super sunday just recently and man, for the first time, i felt so deeply affected. watched how super sunday co-host Ah-ya went all out to help Xu Ru-yun search for her primary school classmate in whom she has not met for years.
The story started when Xu (for short) was nominated the class monitress in her primary 5 class. she took on the role of a disciplinarian when her teachers weren't not around in class. she took down names of those mischievious individuals who played truant in class or made fun of her. as a result she wasn't so well-liked among her friends. and there was this boy in class who's always making fun of her. as usual, one day he started giving her nick-names and called her 'pig-face! Angry, Xu instantaneously gave him one tight slap on his face. she couldn't remember why she slapped him, but she felt really appologetic after that. she really wanted to say sorry to him but never had the opportunity cos he was transferred to another school later on. this incident has remained with her all her life and she really wanted to meet this boy she slapped years ago once again to say 'sorry'. and yes, Ah-ya went out on her mission to search for this guy. well eventually this guy appeared and Xu Ru-yun was thrilled!~ the twist of the story came: this guy who appeared on tv was actually his younger brother. he told Xu Ru-yun that his elder brother died in an accident 9 years ago. at that instant, Xu Ru-yun burst out in tears. man! that this was something so unexpected!!! she has always bore that hope that one day she could meet him at a program like this and tell him how apologetic she was. however, everything came too late.
that struck me so much at that instant. when i saw the tears in Xu's eyes, it reminded me so much of the tears i had when i last saw benny in his coffin. he promised to meet me for lunch, but we met at his funeral on the same day for the last time. yes--it's been a year now. he was my dearest friend who held my hand through life's darkest periods last year. can't forget those times we had together. all are memories now. however, im really thankful that i have told him how much i treasured him as a friend and how important a friend he's been to me. im grateful that i told him how much i'd miss him before he left this world. guess im thankful that i have had the opportunity to know his friendship for a short time. even though shortlived, but forever memorable. so when i saw Xu Ru-yun's tears, my tears fell with hers.
This super sunday episode once again reminded me of how shortlived and fragile life is. don't procastinate when you really wana say something to someone. be generous with your thanksgiving and appreciation everyday, for you never know what holds tomorrow. yes, everyone's busy. take a few seconds each day to appreciate someone, for you never know how much 'sunshine' you could add into someone's life for the last time.
~gracie left a note at 6:06 pm
