Monday, June 13, 2005
June 13
stress...stress...stress is written all over my face today. couldn't even think straight by 6pm. so much to do before going on leave!? sigh! just wished i didn't take leave at all! then don't need to make sure that nothing crops up in the project when i'm not around. just wonder how the pile of work would look when i return!! aghhh~
despite the stress, many a times i've just constantly reminded myself of my passion for history. perhaps that's the driving motivation. it's always good to have positive attitude towards work, isn't it? sometimes i just dread going work! so much to catch up on...! especially when our dear director starts shooting down emails to ask for specific photo, specific archival document of which he has no idea where it's kept! and most of us just go round archives looking for it, spending huge amounts of time just looking for it! what to do?! when it's an instruction from him, he expects the information to be on his table asap! i just fear receiving such emails! cos' that equates having less time to do other important jobs on agenda. because his emails are always classified as 'Urgent & Important!'. what to do?! *shrug* he's the boss!
just today, i received a call from my supervisor, the Deputy Director. she told me that the Director wanted me to look through archival sources to pin down the location of Endau settlement during the war period. man! took my hours just to sit in front of a microfilm machine, scrolling through microfilms looking at minute hydro-geographical maps!
well, i'm thankful that there are kind souls around, like Stanley who did Geography major at NUS. after printing scrolls of microfilm, i went to him today with pathetic eyes: "Stanley, you are good in your jia-ko-pi eh? can you help me?" he replied with a cheeky grin, "yes indeed, i need coffee now!" i told him i really needed his help. as usual, he asked, "what do i get in return??" he's always asking me for breakfast treats! i owed him too many breakfast meals! looked at him with a skeptical grin, commenting that he's always out for treats! he requested for roti prata and teh-si for tomorrow's breakfast! *what duh?!* but i was thankful that at least, i found what i needed to find! and guess what? when i looked at the clock, i spent almost 3 hours on it! sigh~ how can i go on leave when there's so much to followup on before i leave???????? =(
~gracie left a note at 9:14 pm
Thursday, June 09, 2005
9 June 2005
just 1 more day to weekend! how i wish the weekend will just not end!! really look forward to my leave next week!!! i wana break...need a few days away from Archives. been dragging myself to work each day, wondering when the day's gona end!? such an agony~
my birthday is approaching yet again; a time set aside each year to reflect upon life. it's always my hope that wisdom increases with each new year. the crucial question to ask is: what have i done with my life this year which is worth remembering? so many months of pain has recently been wiped away because chris re-entered my life. isn't it the most beautiful thing to know that you have always been someone's heart all these while? isn't it nice to know that you have spent your most sweetest moments with your bestest friend? yes, indeed.
today's been a busy day. sometimes i just don't wana come online cos' i have been facing the comp all day! what brought me joy was to meet bernard coincidentally as i was walking down to the train station after work. thought i would never see him again; well, somehow it's a joy to meet him again! casually asked him how's his new work and how's life for him. as usual, he's with a cigarette and puffing away while he waited for the bus at the bus stop. somehow speaking to him reminds me of his brother. want to tell him so much that i miss benny....i really do. have been reading those sms saved in my phone still from benny; still miss him so much. after i finished my conversation with him, i walked away having this disturbing feeling in my heart. had really wanted to say:
"bernard, i wish you well; continue to be strong because i know how much your parents need you now. pls take care always, always."
these words failed to come from my lips because i don't want my words to bring more pain and reminder of his brother's death. how i wish i could say some comforting words...but i guess i just should just let those difficult moments be history. i'm just reminded every moment ever since that i should just treasure my birthday spent every year. perhaps for many, birthdays=presents=spending money=useless commercial activity...i've realised that birthdays are meant to remember how precious life is, how much we need to treasure time. no matter how short-lived life can be, it's given so that we can make use of it to do the most we can with it. not just be caught up with the busyness of work and daily chores, but to focus on life's priorities. so what are my life's priorities....? *ponder*
~gracie left a note at 8:34 pm
