Thursday, September 16, 2004
Sept16, i had very much wanted to come in here these days because i've got just too much to say. however, time just did not permit me to sit in front of my computer and start pouring my soul out. why would i have time today? yes, it's strike-day. i received an email from Robert, my lecturer, that class is cancelled today and all uni campus gates closed! yehhh!!~ i now have time to sit at home in luxury to think really hard on how to write up a good essay which is due next thursday. =p *grinnn*
well, of cos, there are some students who still have tutorials but i don't think they could possibly drive-in uni. as i opened my windows this morning, i saw a long trail of cars waiting along the road outside my house which leads to the uni gate. i'm sure they have closed the gates!? oh man~ too bad for the drivers! they just gota drive home now? many drivers have just given up waiting in their queues, while some others are still trying to queue patiently? and yes, they are definitely late for their 9am class! it reads 9:18am on my computer clock. so much about strike?!
yes, just this week, i had a very engaging and thought-provoking tutorial! the topic of the day's discussion centred on families and paid/unpaid work. it's disturbing to note that despite women entering into the public sphere and increasingly participating in full-time work, they aren't spared from the chores in their homes. there's a significant gender division of labour in families. the men/fathers take up the mechanics-role, done usually outside the house; they usually fix things up, mow the lawn, wash the car. the women/mothers, on the other hand, are expected to take care of the interior of the house; that includes cleaning, washing etc.
it's a sad fact that even in this 21st century context, women still equates a homemaker? call me a feminist! i seriously feel that women should be liberated! of course, this gives housewives more time living up to the standards of cleanliness at home, while career-women really gota struggle harder to manage their commitment levels, both at work and at home. this worsens when kids are added into the picture! i can just imagine how tough it must have been for those who have struggled through this "ordeal"?!
imagine: your 1-year old toddler is crying while you are cooking lunch....when you try to clean up the mess he has made, your business calls on your mobile start ringing. even before receiving the call, you realised that your lunch in the frying pan is burnt!?!
juggling is tough! eeeks, i just don't wanna be a woman at this point of time! this is silly, but my point is, it's really a pain in the neck! i don't want kids, i don't want to be a 'zhu3-fan4-po2' (a maid)!!! yeah, as we discussed this topic in a tutorial class with only females/women, it's just interesting how we concluded that there's no way out! no matter how much one may wanna train a man to help out in the domestic chores, it's just impossible in reality! we still end up hiring maids to help out in the house! (maids are STILL women!!!) argghhh~ this frustrating fact remains. Women, kampateh!!~ struggle on!
at this moment in time, i'm beginning to treasure my freedom.....! yeh!~ no worries! just take care of myself, my own uni and career goals....more than enough to keep me occupied!!!!! how good is it?! hee. i don't wana get married...don't wana have kids...and most of all, i don't wana be a Maid!?~
~gracie left a note at 7:09 am
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Sept12, i'm sure many will agree with me when i say that writing blogs is a therapeutic routine. it's a safe space where we create for our own; where we can leave our daily thoughts, our life story behind: our sadness, our pain, our struggles, our thoughts deep within us, our values, our plans for the future...everything.
at this moment in time, i'm thankful that i have this safe space, where i can runaway from when i feel i need to be alone or even when i feel neglected or brushed away by friends around. this is where my words within me run free-flow; where the feelings from the bottom of my soul emerge; where a part of me is revealed in a transparent fashion.
i seriously hate it when people around do not have time to stop and listen intently to what i want to say. it's pretty sad that some people just like to assume and anticipate what you want to tell them. some others just need to rush to somewhere else. there are also those who do not give you a chance to speak up because you have the reputation of being 'long-winded'. well, perhaps being extroverted, talkative and expressive makes me feel neglected in all the ways mentioned above. well, i've grown to understand that not everyone is trained to be a patient listener and that, not everyone in this world is interested in what i've gota say. this is something really saddening, isn't it?
~gracie left a note at 8:26 pm
Friday, September 10, 2004
Sept 10, indeed, laughter is the best medicine. today's joke of the day occured just at the perfect time: when i needed something to brighten up my day a bit.
my day's been tiring....my mind was still hovering over the econs tutorial, still trying to derive and spot the differences in the mathematical formulae between the autonomous tax expenditure multiplier and the autonomous expenditure multiplier. i just came out of the matheson library, trying to borrow as many books as i possibly could, for my history research essay on writing biographies. my stomache was growling; my lips were thirsting for water. i walked over to the Post Office at Campus Centre to pay off my gas bills. when i finally got my lunch
(hmm...warm, tasty chicken schzelle burger) and found a corner table, it was already 2:30pm. man!~ i loaded off my heavy bag filled with books and just as i checked my phone, i got "1 message received". hmmm, i wonder who it was? could it be chris...??
as it turned out, it was Joel's message. as i waited for the phone to flash out the message, in my mind i thought: "is he asking me for jogging again? didn't we jog yesterday? we agreed that we won't meet on friday?hmm, could it be an urgent message??" and the message went:
"I cannot hide this from you anymore. I don't want to hurt you and I feel it's best if I tell you, before you hear it from someone else................."
( Joel, you've gota be kidding...you sound so serious...there's something cheeky going on here...?!)
"eggs increased 10cents."
hahahahahahaa!!!! what duh?! i just burst out laughing!!! this is so-so funny!! really seriously funny! Joel, you've made my day! thanks! =p *grinnn* hee. i sent this message to chris, and his reply was even funnier:
"I know EGGs are very expensive!! hee."
hahahaahahaa.....man!! this is seriously the joke of my day! can't help but want to write this down! really wana remember this. =) *big smile*
~gracie left a note at 4:16 pm
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
September 7, my mind is terribly confused lately. too many things are crowding my mind, till i found it pretty hard to concentrate on my own work this week. my macro exam is scheduled in a month's time and i've yet to study for it!! my essay assignments are almost due!! my tutors are urging me to take up the Hons program and of course on the other hand, there's the major consideration of going back singapore and establishing my career back home. and relationship issues as well. these are big-time decisions....i really feel that i really need a break from everything!! seriously need timeout to just be alone with God and figure things out.
sometimes i had wondered: have i made the right choice to come over to aussie? some have challenged the notion that it was a waste of money for me to come over to do sociology and history majors. however, i still feel strongly that i've really learnt a lot from my course here, thoroughly enjoyed my subjects and critical analysis skills i've gained through time. whether or not these skills would be helpful to get me a job is another serious matter that i don't have answers to at the moment.
at other times, i would ask myself: am i satisfied with what i am today? am i really living a fulfilled life at this current moment? after serious consideration, my answer is nope. and the reason being i've searched for fulfilment in the wrong places. happiness is often momentary; lonliness and pain still return. i know that God hasn't been my first priority...i have relied so much on other tangible things in life like friendships and relationships to get me through life. decisions made were faulty and the sense of fulfilment is never reached consequently.
i was glad to talk to sean last night. he sent me a christian forum link that brings me to read about how fulfilment could be achieved in relationships. check this out:
http://www.christianforums.com/t834489 that really encouraged me a great deal! seriously put things into the right perspectives and i've been able to feel better thereafter! thanks, sean!
~gracie left a note at 12:52 pm
Friday, September 03, 2004
Sept3, Spring is beginning to show its appearance. just few days ago, i noticed that lilies are blooming at the backyard garden of my house....green greenary is back! and yeah!! it's time for me to start my jogging spree again!
well, i've been sleeping earlier lately and i realised that i've been able to study better. i guess i'm still the morning person...=) feel super refreshed this morning when i opened my eyes at 5am this morning!! woohoo!! it's so early.............but it was good. i had to wakey to revise my macro for the last 2hours before i head off for uni at 8am. as usual, didn't finish writing what i had to before George, our invigilator shouts: "times up!" oh man!!!~ i struggled through the last few minutes.....argghhhh~ oh well, it's over anyway. i'll see how i go...*grin*
~gracie left a note at 2:53 pm
