September 7, my mind is terribly confused lately. too many things are crowding my mind, till i found it pretty hard to concentrate on my own work this week. my macro exam is scheduled in a month's time and i've yet to study for it!! my essay assignments are almost due!! my tutors are urging me to take up the Hons program and of course on the other hand, there's the major consideration of going back singapore and establishing my career back home. and relationship issues as well. these are big-time decisions....i really feel that i really need a break from everything!! seriously need timeout to just be alone with God and figure things out.

sometimes i had wondered: have i made the right choice to come over to aussie? some have challenged the notion that it was a waste of money for me to come over to do sociology and history majors. however, i still feel strongly that i've really learnt a lot from my course here, thoroughly enjoyed my subjects and critical analysis skills i've gained through time. whether or not these skills would be helpful to get me a job is another serious matter that i don't have answers to at the moment.

at other times, i would ask myself: am i satisfied with what i am today? am i really living a fulfilled life at this current moment? after serious consideration, my answer is nope. and the reason being i've searched for fulfilment in the wrong places. happiness is often momentary; lonliness and pain still return. i know that God hasn't been my first priority...i have relied so much on other tangible things in life like friendships and relationships to get me through life. decisions made were faulty and the sense of fulfilment is never reached consequently.

i was glad to talk to sean last night. he sent me a christian forum link that brings me to read about how fulfilment could be achieved in relationships. check this out: http://www.christianforums.com/t834489 that really encouraged me a great deal! seriously put things into the right perspectives and i've been able to feel better thereafter! thanks, sean!