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Thursday, November 25, 2004

Nov 25, phew!~ i heave a sigh of relief when i got my final assignment! i went down to Caulfield with my family today...for 1 reason! to get back my Divorce Culture assignment. oh well, i thank God...quite happy that i got 84%. sorta expected a good mark, but never too sure of myself altogether. now that i'm pretty sure i'll see at least one HD this semester, i'm pretty glad and relieved. so much of hardwork has been put in...oh well, i deserve the holidays i'm having now!

i'm tired now...really tired! i've been walking millions of steps today. i'm just exaggerating here, but seriously, i've walked a long way today. i've been a tourist guide for the past few days. it's really knowing how to get around melbourne! there were times when i felt lost myself!?! oh well, that tells you how bad i am with directions!! anywayz, it's been exhausting.....haven't been catching enough sleep lately. perhaps i'm just not used to having so many people sleeping in the my room...........

oh well, i've been thinking about chris alot today...perhaps the places i brought my parents today were all places i used to spend with chris. walking down the Yarra River, taking loads of pics and eating Charmaine's Icecream...etc. so much of memories down that river...i haven't talked to him since monday...i wonder how has his life been? is life any different when i'm not around? will it ever be the same again when i return home? so much to look forward to...yet so much hesitation in my heart. what's going on...?


~gracie left a note at 6:37 pm

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

it's 23rd today! and yeah, i do feel truly special today...gazing at the only photo i possess in my room now makes me smile. the only photo taken of me and chris at Gloria Jeans 2 years ago. i feel particularly attached to chris' stuff as i packed his boxes left behind in my garage these days. it's like seeing him again. oh well, time flies again...we've been together for another month now. looking back, it hasn't been an easy road. i must admit that there were times when i felt like giving up. falling in love is easy; but to truly love is difficult. perhaps distance does play a certain role in pulling us apart. there were times when i felt enstranged, far off from home and just all alone even though my status has always been "in a relationship". tough~

it felt really different to see my family here in melbourne. it's like having them live the aussie life which i have led for the past few years. it's been difficult for them, especially coping with the cool windy weather. they have been piling up layers of clothes ever since they stepped into this place! hee, with jumpers and wind breakers and thermals! =) despite the air-con cold temperature, they like the peacefulness here in melbourne. if there's a place to reside during their retiring years, it would be melbourne. =) well, for a start, our experience at church was pretty funny. when my brother first followed me to caregroup at church last friday, everyone started saying that we look Sooooo alike! we are like twins, even though we are 7 years apart!?! man! floz's statement to my brother: "you look EXACTLY like your sister" was frequently repeated. do we look that similar? oh well, i don't think so?!? maybe i have never thought so! =p

it's been exciting having my family to be here...just feels great having mum be around to help me with the packing! so much packing to do!!! i just sent off some boxes back to singapore through the freight services...i've also just finished packing loads of clothes i'm preparing to give away...and other loads of stuffs which were passed on to me when i first came. i never thought i have got so much stuff!!! and yeah, my graduation rehersal is next week! ain't i not excited?!! yeah, i've been shopping with my mum and brother in Chaddy lately and i got myself an orangee top and skirt which cost $90 from Sportsgirl! whoh! the most expensive thing i've ever bought ever since 1st year!?! but it'sss so nice!!!!~ i'll be wearing it for my grad!! =) to think that i'll be flying home sweet home a day after my graduation ceremony is just amazing! that's happening in less than 3 weeks time! oh well, for the time being, i just hope i have cleared off all my 4 subjects in my final semester!? results will be out next week.....eekss, scarrrryy!?!!?


~gracie left a note at 12:31 pm

Thursday, November 18, 2004

Nov 18, i've been getting myself excited for this day since weeks ago. it used to be: my family is coming! it's now: my family has come! =) yeah, knowing fully well that they would be here for an entire month, i need to be a good girl! clean up my room, tidy up the mess, remove all junk and trash them all, sun the mattresses, wash the bedsheets and do everything possible to make sure they would stay in comfortably in my little room. i know time flies from today onwards! i'm nearing the day of my graduation and going home! in less than 30 days time, i'll be home sweet home!! how great is that? =)


~gracie left a note at 5:11 am

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Nov 16, this is the day that we said goodbye...i sent my good friend to the Tullamarine Airport this morning. it was hard. i'm now feeling the sense of lost still. it's no easier for Annie who was leaving, knowing that it will be final time we'll meet here in melbourne again. i tried to always comfort myself that i'll keep in touch with her again....but i guess life's not going to be the same without her as a housemate from this day on. as we hugged, i could feel her controlling her sobs. it was just so hard to say goodbye....so very difficult.

3 years flew in a blinking of an eye. i still remembered the first time i said 'Hi' to her, i almost thought she's a Korean! when i first met her, i never thought she'd turn out to be my housemate and my dearest friend in Melb. we shared lots together, our dreams, our hopes, our secrets and our agonising pain of exams. of course, we do fight, but we always got back this friendship and often end up closer each time. many said we are twin sisters because we are always together. we sound so alike on the phone too, so much so that callers assume they got the right person and we keep receiving calls which aren't for us, =). even our laughters sounded so similar!! oh yes, we learnt cooking together....we shared icecream and cheesecake together, we watched vcds and cried together and yar, we went to Macas/ Mc donalds when one of us was really upset and we always walk to uni together. so much to remember...but one thing we promised each other, we will see each other again in 2008 Beijing Olympics, we will! =)


~gracie left a note at 10:05 am

Friday, November 12, 2004

Nov 12, today i said goodbye to my web camera! *whoa whoa...sobbz* a tinge of sadness filled my heart as i sold it to its new owner. sigh~ somehow today, i realised that i do develop very intense attachment to all my belongings. even though i don't use my webcam as often as i thought i would, still i felt the sense of losing a part of me when i exchanged it for some cash today. well, somehow i learnt a lesson: don't be attached to material things!! sometimes we take these things around us for granted. when they are gone, that's when we missed their presence, doesn't it?!? life is full of controversies...! i wish everyone can treasure and feel contented with what we have, =).


~gracie left a note at 12:36 pm

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Nov 9, yes! 36 days more to home sweet home. my heart is always filled with mixed feelings whenever it's time to say goodbye to old friends and leaving a place i call 'home'. 3 years ago i felt that excitement about coming over to melb. today, i'm feeling the same way about going back singapore. it's always a struggle...always.

now that i'm preparing to fly home, there's a strong sense of homesickness surging in me. i really long to be home...to taste the good food...to speak the 'rojak' singrish...to smell the air of asian culture and to be with my family and friends! can't help but sing:

'this is home, truly, where i know i must be
where my dreams wait for me
where the river always flows
this is home, surely, as my senses tell me
this is where i won't be alone
for this is where i know i'm home'

but at the same time, i've gotten used to what i call, the australian lifestyle. it's going to uni everyday, meeting friends for lunch, going for a jog (sometimes with joel? =p), cooking dinner and spending time chilling out in front of the tv watching Australian idol or even Home and Away. on friday nights, gary will come over to pick me up for caregroups. saturdays are spent at church while sundays are for laundry, housekeeping and shopping. it's just the freedom to do whatever things and go places whenever and wherever i want. and friends too, got really close to ppl here whilst lost contact with ppl in singapore. somehow, going home seems to be a brand new beginning for me again...it's a changing lifestyle.

as i look back, it seems like time really flies. it wasn't too long ago when i first said goodbye at changi airport to my friends. now, 3 years have gone by and it's time to make a big step into a new world: the working world. will i undergo another chameleon change? will circumstances affect the way i see things in a new way? what is my future going to be? what is my direction in life? where's my compass point? there's so much uncertainties in life that i lose hope in expecting my plans to be worked out as i wanted them to be. in order to know what will happen, just gota be patient...=)


~gracie left a note at 12:37 pm

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

3 Nov, lately i have been pondering over life...about friendship, about love, about my future, about commitment in marriage, about relationships. it's really great to have close friends in times like these to share, to pour out my thoughts and to receive affirmation i seriously need.

last friday, as i hopped into gary's car after caregroup, he asked me a question that really got me thinking. he asked, 'gracie, have you thought of coming back melb again? we will miss you.' that is a difficult question to answer. i replied anyway, 'oh...well, depends'. there are just so many factors to consider. but one thing i do know, i will miss these friends here. i'm beginning to treasure every moment i spend with them...trying to stay for every sabbath's afternoon prog as much as possible. and yeah, gary and i continued the conversation for another hour in his car after he pulled over outside my place that night. i shared with him my fears, my dreams, my struggles and for the first time, i've been able to open up to gary. despite his tiredness, he listened. i really appreciate his time, his concern and his affirmations he gave me. that was my very first time having sucha long conversation with gary. really memorable experience.

today, i've finally finished all my assignments...all my exams...officially Done with my university course. next step: flying home? somehow i ain't that excited, why? i don't know. perhaps the thought of unemployment is sticking in...i'm just in a state of confusion and as my history tutor miss koh used to say: "direction-less!"

well, i'm currently listening to this song: "fly away". love the lyrics of this song...really touched my heart. check this out! http://bwong.com/lj/FlyAway-CM.htm


"When will you be home?" she asks
As we watch the planes take off
We both know we have no clear answer to where my dreams may lead
She's watched me as i crawled and stumbled
As a child, she was my world
And now to let me go, I know she bleeds
and yet she says to me

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away

Autumn leaves fell into spring time and Silver-painted hair
Daddy called one evening saying
"We need you. Please come back"
When I saw her laying in her bed
Fragile as a child
Pale just like an angel taking flight
I held her as I cried

You can fly so high
Keep your gaze upon the sky
I'll be praying every step along the way
Even though it breaks my heart to know we'll be so far apart
I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away
ohh...I love you too much to make you stay
Baby fly away


~gracie left a note at 7:14 pm

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gracie
activities: beach-ing, swimming, camping
interests: music, history
birthday: 18 june
home sweet home: singapore


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