29 March 2005

it's another brand new day to start with...another brand new day to cherish. when i first opened my eyes this morning, i thanked God that i'm still breathing, still alive. it's sucha blessing, sucha wonderful blessing to cherish!

i met bernard at around 1pm in the pantry today...he was opening his lunch box when i passed by him. at the moment i saw him, i was reminded once again of the death of his younger brother, benny. i wished i could send him my condolences...i wished i could utter some comforting words...but at that very moment, i just didn't know what to say. i saw him having his lunch and commented that i should get mine too! i knew it's just a very silly statement, but i just didn't know what more to say. i gave him a grin :) and he replied, "haven't you got lunch?" i told him, "no...but i'm getting it soon!" and with that, i jumped on the stairs and left.

i bumped into him again outside the Reference room in the afternoon. never expected myself to spend some time chatting with him again. he initiated the conversation actually. he asked me who was the person who accompanied me to benny's funeral service and even shared with me that he collected benny's ashes this morning. from his eyes, i knew deep within he's really struggling. i knew he needed to talk to someone. our conversation at this very moment came to an awkward silence, as i just didn't know how to continue the conversation without causing more sadness. he tried to thank me for being there for benny....and i just uttered, "that's what friends are for, isn't it?" with a grin and a shrug on my shoulders, i just didn't know what more to say. i told him that i never regretted knowing his brother, despite the short time we spent together. it was indeed a blessing to have known him. his eyes revealed pain as i shared. i knew at that moment, i should just leave this sad topic completely. so, we ended up continuing the conversation by sharing more about ourselves, about work in nas (national archives of singapore) and about future plans. it was quite amazing how we stood there for 30minutes, even though i had absolute no idea what i should say at times! but all in all, i was glad to have spent that time with him. before i left the conversation, i turned around and with a grin i said, "you know what...? i enjoyed this interesting chat with you! really..." that brought an instantaneous smile to his face.

i wonder if that really helped bernard in any way?! but i truly learnt from my friendship with benny is that it's never too late to appreciate someone~to treasure time spent together, no matter how short it may be! it's always good to stop and pause from work and just be there to lend a listening ear.