March 26 2005, i decide to start typing once more...start pouring out all my thoughts into my treasure box here. i know if i don't, i might just regret for the rest of my life. what happened today just taught me how to love and treasure people around me so much more. so much has happened for the past few months....sunk deep in agony, in pain and sadness and i just didn't want to be reminded of these again. however, after meeting this guy in my life recently, he changed my life significantly. he taught me to cherish, to love and to make full use of every significant opportunity to enjoy the best things in life. at this very moment, i miss him a lot...seriously so much. i just wish i could tell him all these from the bottom of my heart.

this morning, i got a message on my phone that read: "benny had a fatal road accident. funeral wake at teochew funeral parlour on sunday. ubi road 4 funeral on monday am." i was utterly shocked. "is this a prank?" i asked. this was a disturbing thought for the whole day. eventually my disbelief was confirmed through the news headlines: "Singaporean motorist killed in Malaysian road accident". when his name was flashed on the tv screen, i couldn't believe my eyes. i was seriously dumb founded. tears just rolled down my eyes as i remembered how we have spent the past few days trying to meet up for lunch, but never found a time to....his last message to me before he left for malaysia was: "okie dokie don't miss me" and my reply to him was, "yes, i will miss ya :) have fun and i'll seeya soon. take care". that was our last conversation. i really miss him a lot now...i just wish this is a prank...i wish he's still alive...i wish to tell you, benny, i really cherish you alot......i really really do!

exactly one week ago, we had great fun! we went out to have a long dinner....catchup and he brought me out to a cozy cafe to have a drink. he poured out his thoughts, he shared with me his life, his work, his aspirations, his plans for the future....i never regretted going out with him. he came all the way to my place to have dessert with me on monday and we spent the whole night chatting. he went all the way to funan to meet me for lunches even though i never gota meet him at all....seriously felt so touched. i wish i could have this friendship for eternity....*cry....* life is just so short...never know what will ever happen tomorrow. perhaps tomorrow will never come? i told benny, "sure! we always have another time to have lunch at funan!" sadly, we will never have another time.....*sobs* so people, cherish every one you have in your life.

CARE is the sweetest form of LOVE.
So anyone says "take care"
it's just as good as saying
"I'll keep you in my heart till its very last beat"
Take care

take care, benny...i wrote this blog for you.