2 may 2005

been pondering about life lately, especially after receiving news that my colleague's mum passed away yesterday. went to mandai crematorium today to witness another cremation of an old folk. it's my second time there this year. life's just so short...!

came to realise that we don't have all the time we want to do all we want! we just don't control what holds for us tomorrow and we may not live to see the rising sun. it's a *choy choy* thing, but a fact of life. really learnt to grasp every single moment i have to truly appreciate ppl around us because i may never know when will it be the last time i'd ever meet this person again. even though closed ones may not be around anymore, we can still walk on and know that they still live in our hearts. it will be the saddest thing to feel rejected at the very last moment of life....wouldn't it be?

somehow so much has happened over these few months. experienced so much loss, so much disappointments and inevitably, i sunk into deep depression. i believe i grew up stronger in the process. john tan was right when he said that sometimes, life is a test. when we go through challenges, we become stronger in our faith, mightier in our character.

close friends around me commented lately, "gracie, you changed so much!" is it a good thing? maybe it is. i believe they aren't refering to just my dressing style...yes, more womanly!! as many have described! thanks to stepping into the working world! but i believe the trials of these months have made me sort out my priorities and to see more clearly my direction in life. yes, we aren't perfect, we do make mistakes in life....but it's just silly to look back and say, "oh...i just regret to have done this...." life will be sucha gloom if we just regret every single decision we make.

i believe in every journey we choose to take, we'd always end up somewhere we never planned to be. it maybe a bad choice, but it's also a lesson learnt, isn't it? this is growing up, i'd say. nobody will be always there to guide and tell you which is the right path to take...we just need to be courageous to move on and be ready to face the consequence of each decision made.