9 may 2005

i was so reluctant to leave my bed this morning...aghhh~ why isit monday so soon? sigh. been sleeping so much through weekend but still haven't recovered from my lethargy. i need a recharge! my energy is so drained!!

one of colleagues at work submitted her resignation letter last week. this news shocked everyone at the management level. no one expected her to leave after working so hard at the Archives for the past 9years. somehow i realised that perhaps, work shouldn't define who we are. work should just remain as work, as seperate matter from our entire well being and life. when work becomes our life, we are just merely slogging our lives away, isn't it? sometimes no matter how much we try to do our real best, those efforts may not be appreciated by our boss. thus, those efforts seem to be in vain, no matter how hard we may try. i've decided that i should just concentrate more on building up relationships, friendship and kinships.

been feeling alienated from everyone else lately. perhaps it's part and parcel of fitting back into the singaporean society after being away for 3 years. despite coming back to this island every 6 months, i have become accustomed to the aus lifestyle over the years. the only reason why i came back then was because my then bf was working here. really missed him while i was there at aus and really yearned to be back here in singapore so that we can be together 'ever after'. well, now that i'm back here, things have changed over the months. had i not returned, perhaps things might have been different? well, finding my old friends and catching up with them seems to be a never-ending search. everyone's been busy; each has their own schedules and datelines to meet.

well, my only relief is that i found a great companion at work since day 1. we always go lunch together; we share about almost everything with one another and never found that we got tired of each other; our conversations are just never-ending through the week. perhaps it's because we share a common past-- we left for australia years ago, left our friends and things we held onto behind and moved on. now that we are back, it's been always this challenge to find ourselves a place where we used to feel belong to.

yes, we do have friends, very good friends for sure in the past. now that we are back, friends no longer remain. yes, undoubtedly we have had fun times with our old friends. but like boon says, 'people come and go...people move on...people change and people grow up'. we can't expect everything to stay the same, because it just doesn't happen that way. we just gota move on and perhaps, find new friends, live life in a new way and find a new place in this singaporean society once more. this process has been a struggle for me...when will this process end?