9 June 2005

just 1 more day to weekend! how i wish the weekend will just not end!! really look forward to my leave next week!!! i wana break...need a few days away from Archives. been dragging myself to work each day, wondering when the day's gona end!? such an agony~

my birthday is approaching yet again; a time set aside each year to reflect upon life. it's always my hope that wisdom increases with each new year. the crucial question to ask is: what have i done with my life this year which is worth remembering? so many months of pain has recently been wiped away because chris re-entered my life. isn't it the most beautiful thing to know that you have always been someone's heart all these while? isn't it nice to know that you have spent your most sweetest moments with your bestest friend? yes, indeed.

today's been a busy day. sometimes i just don't wana come online cos' i have been facing the comp all day! what brought me joy was to meet bernard coincidentally as i was walking down to the train station after work. thought i would never see him again; well, somehow it's a joy to meet him again! casually asked him how's his new work and how's life for him. as usual, he's with a cigarette and puffing away while he waited for the bus at the bus stop. somehow speaking to him reminds me of his brother. want to tell him so much that i miss benny....i really do. have been reading those sms saved in my phone still from benny; still miss him so much. after i finished my conversation with him, i walked away having this disturbing feeling in my heart. had really wanted to say:

"bernard, i wish you well; continue to be strong because i know how much your parents need you now. pls take care always, always."

these words failed to come from my lips because i don't want my words to bring more pain and reminder of his brother's death. how i wish i could say some comforting words...but i guess i just should just let those difficult moments be history. i'm just reminded every moment ever since that i should just treasure my birthday spent every year. perhaps for many, birthdays=presents=spending money=useless commercial activity...i've realised that birthdays are meant to remember how precious life is, how much we need to treasure time. no matter how short-lived life can be, it's given so that we can make use of it to do the most we can with it. not just be caught up with the busyness of work and daily chores, but to focus on life's priorities. so what are my life's priorities....? *ponder*