came to realise that sometimes, the greatest things in life are found just next to you. you may not even notice its presence and its wonderful goodness! you may not have regarded it as the most important and have simply taken it for granted. when it's suddenly gone, you begin to feel a deep sense of loss, of emptiness within and would just wish time could ever return for you. it's just too late to ever regret because there's just some things in life which would remain permanent forever. there's nothing you could ever do to revert back to history. nothing!

been pondering over loads of things recently...especially over relationships. it's sucha big word which encompasses kinship, friendship and bg-relationship. somehow i have placed that as the greatest thing in life. after going through so much since my return, i have come to understand that as the ever most important element of life which i could not live without. my meeting with benny was the most wonderful blessing this year. only come to full realisation when i saw him lying inside his coffin. tears just flowed inevitably, knowing that i have just lost one of the greatest things in life: a friend. it took a long time to come to terms with the fact that i would never meet him again. i was so busy that fateful week that i postponed my meeting with him again and again. he had wanted to meet me before he left but we never did. my only comfort was that i told him how much i cared for him as a friend, how much i enjoyed his companionship and how much i would miss him before he left. i don't know if he ever liked me at all, i wouldn't be able to find out for the rest of my life...but there's one thing i do know: i will always treasure those times we have shared together, no matter how shortlived that was. sometimes you could only have the greatest things in life for the shortest period of time. do you just let time slip away?

while i was going through those saddest moments of my life months ago, i told my closest buddy: "i have not found someone who truly loves me so much so much! nobody likes me!!" he replied saying, "you know what? i dropped you enuf hints to tell you how much i care for you for the past 6 years but you never seemed to get it!" i looked at him in surprise, uttering only a word of response: "really??" that taught me a lesson. sometimes i'm just too blur to notice the greatest things found nearest to me. that's what i call human nature: always going on a search for the best things in life furthest away, hoping that you would one day find it. the matter of fact is, you will never. the best things in life are often found next to you.

~gracie left a note at 11:10 am