July 28

Received a shocking news this morning. Opened my Lotus notes at office and received the HR notification that Ross and Kevin have just tended their resignation letters. by end of next month, 6 officers will be leaving NAS. sigh~ life at work has been stressful for many. we seem to be fighting a battle every day. always on our toes, never be able to fully concentrate on our work if we are too distracted by the constant fear of being reprimanded for minor errors. somehow, the fear instilled here at office has deterred me to reach my fullest potentials at work. whenever each decision is made, the first question that comes to mind is: will i be scolded for overlooking any issue if i sent out this email? if i decide on something? it forces me to consider and reconsider the consequences, the implications and the effects of using certain words or prioritising certain things above the others. i often find myself heaving a sigh of relief that the day is over.....always waiting for the weekend to approach. somehow or rather, i treasure the rest time i have on saturdays a lot. i wish my rest days could be extended....

anyway, received stanley's call before i left office just now. he sounded a little disturbed over the phone: "hey, have you checked your email?" i replied: "no, i just refreshed my lotus notes just then. nothing." he cautioned: "hey, i suggest that you better read your email before you leave." oh man! when i heard that, my heart jumped. what could it be? is it another 'bomb' from our dearest director again?!? "hey, don't keep me in suspense: could you just tell me? i need to leave office very soon and i have switched off my comp!!" i blurted. eventually, after much pestering, he told me that we are going on another field trip to Malaysia AGAIN!!! with our dearest Director!! my only response: "my goodness!!" sigh~ it's my 4th working trip to Malaysia ever since I started work at Archives!! yes, it's always a good thing to be chosen to go for such trips. however, it's always stressful whenever we go on such trips. aghghhhh!!! i'm not thinking about it at the moment....live the day as it comes.