Undying love
have been reading a friend's blog. this 17-yr old girl has fallen in love lately and has been writing down her thoughts of her relationship, of her bf and her daily affairs. she has been missing him a lot in her life and expressed her unwavering love for him in every entry. she counts down the number of days before she meets her bf on weekends, when her bf books out of army basic training. everyday seems to go past really slowly, as she faithfully awaits his calls. she relentlessly sacrifices and devotes her time and effort on this relationship. from her entries, you could really tell that she loves him a lot. she is sure that both of them will see this relationship through, despite the lesser time spent together.

i could relate to her passionate devotion to a relationship. when i was 17, i was like her, missing my bf so much. just wished i could spend eternity with him, share lunch boxes together and walk around shopping centres together. i was willing to sit by the phone to wait for his call. was so willing to accept his ring when he fitted it on my fourth finger on my 18th birthday. in retrospect, as i looked back, i realised that going into a relationship is like going through a journey together. it's difficult to continue the journey when both decides to walk separate ways. for all the time, effort and feelings put in, is it all wasted if at the end of the day, both of you choose to separate? is it worth it?

now that i'm older, i realise that i'd consider my decisions more carefully than before. as i grow older each day, i feel i'm less willing to give my all in all to someone. i hold back, for fear of hurt. i dare not give, for fear i won't receive. i dare not love, for fear it hurts badly when things don't work out. i find my heart harden more each time. upon reading her blog, i begin to envy her child-like innocence, her steadfast belief in forever love and her faithfulness to true love.

the thought of 'true love' reminded me of adrian. he confessed in recent years that i have been his true love since jc years and since then, he has been calling me his 'true love'. perhaps our definition of 'true love' has changed over the years and will change in years to come. when we were younger, we tend to hold a stronger belief that many things in life are going to remain unchanged. the concept of forever friends and eternal love seem very irrational and unrealistic as we grow older. people change, things change over time. we just gota learn to accept that we may be on the same journey today, but no longer walking the same path 10 years down the road. a sad reality of life, isn't it?