Struggles
what would you do if you received a $8K proposal ring from the guy who has been waiting for you all his life?

my first reaction was "aww, how sweet!" when i heard of how someone planned a $10K marriage proposal for his gf. of course, i would gladly accept the wonderful surprise of a diamond ring, a bouquet of roses & the man of my life on his knees. but realistically, i won't expect him to do so much, even though i'd love to. simple proposals (like what ab said, he would bring her to paris) would do the trick on me too, if he's the one i have fallen deeply in love with.

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Thoughts of him floated into my mind. i have been denying his persistent presence in my memories for the past months. yet, i know he still lingers in my heart. i thought about how good a husband he will be when my colleague told me over lunch yesterday of how loving her hubby has been. i thought of him as i walked passed PS GV. i recalled the last movie we watched together at PS. i remembered his last hug before we bid our last goodbye. i recalled how he used to call me 'kong ba bao' whenever we walked past PS. i remembered how much i wanted to fly back singapore to meet him every summer holiday when i was still studying at aussie land. i recalled those days when we quarrelled and how we reconciled with a big beary hug from him. whenever these thoughts come to mind, i try to whack it off by feeding my brain with other happier memories of other things in life.

i thought i could forget. but the truth is, i missed him. i have been dreaming of him lately. sweet dreams. and dreams being dreams, you wake up to reality. many times i wished there would be more dejavus in my life. dejavus that will allow me to relive my sweet moments i had in my dreams. as i opened my eyes this morning, i knew that i couldn't deny his presence in my life anymore.

perhaps he has forgotten abt me...perhaps i haven't been important at all...perhaps i'm the only silly fella who is holding on to the past. or perhaps he's trying to move on with his life too. perhaps he's struggling with his own issues and decisions. love is not selfish. love is not demanding a change in him to suit my needs and wants. love is about giving, being understanding and patient with circumstances. perhaps it's just not meant to be...

forgetting someone takes time. maybe a long, long time....when memory fades.