independence
today i sat down wondering what that word really means. im reminded of how many friends used to comment that gracie's a strong woman (in chinese, they call me: 刚强). really? how often do i rely on emotional pillars for support? how many occasions do i need someone to be by my side? there are times when i wish im just like a fragile flower in a greenhouse, needing tender loving care, warmth from sunshine and rain. perhaps gracie has been through too much of pain before, that's why it has made her strong as she is today.

i rejoice in being who i am, because what defines me constitutes a big portion of my past. love to be a 'sunshine' gracie...and i wish i could stay as sunshine always. when thunderstorms come my way, then gracie would be looking for a hiding place for shelter. in times like these, would little flower gracie find her anchor? recently, i told clement: 'let's learn to smile at the storms :)!' he replied, 'the storms laughed at me!' well, his pessimistic reply made me wonder: why many times we feel so helpless in times of need? shouldn't we cast all our cares upon Jesus? "with Christ in the vessel we can smile at the storm!"- maybe it is time to sing this song again!

gracie is learning today, how to be strong once again. maybe she's been in the greenhouse for too long. it is time for her to stand up on her own. and much recently, i found joy in spending time in solitude and self discovery. i spent time doing personal grooming, shopping, cooking and reading. great therapy i must say :) perhaps in solitude, i found the real gracie within -her strengths, her weaknesses, her wants and her fears. if one day, you do see the real gracie, you should feel glad that she's able to open her world to you. not everyone gets to see the complete her! ;)

~gracie left a note at 5:09 pm