"Because by changing that person, it makes him/her less of the person whom you have fallen in love with from the start."

couplehood
i was reading kiat's recent blog entry and i'm 'wow-ed' at his statement above. i can't agree with him more. it's so easy to find imperfection in another special someone. it's so human to mind the growing fats, the bad habits, the weird temper, the dark side. yet, when you start to recall how and why you started the journey of togetherness, you would realise that you fell in love and accepted who he or she is right from the very start.

some people may say, love is blind. blindness is always deemed as the reason when we ask ourselves, if we know this person is so hard to live with, then why fall in love in the first place? i'd argue that love is indeed blind - but loving someone means overlooking someone's flaws. and because you no longer live a life of your own, there's a lot more 'us' to take care of, instead of the 'you-s' and 'me-s'. sometimes quarrels are inevitable, because there's a constant struggle of demanding what 'i-want', rather than what 'we want'. and when our focus and attention becomes individualistic, there's a greater tendancy to point finger at the other and demand the other partner to change.

im learning too. it's a journey of discovery for me. as much as i wish i could be the most perfect woman in the world, the matter of fact is, i am not. and many a times, as i look at the women around me, i feel so small. i dont think i'm more perfect, or more desirable or more unique. since i would love others to accept the way i am, then i'd have to learn to accept the way others are.

Fair? yes.

if you can't learn the lesson of loving someone else, then you shouldn't be in love.